Thoughts on Transition

I am a missionary. So I guess that means Transition is my middle name. Yet, no matter how many airplanes I have been on, how many countries I have lived in or traveled to, and how many times I have packed that suitcase and said good-bye, it doesn't get any easier. In fact, as I get older, it gets messier and more complicated. Now I am factoring in my husband and children into the transition chaos. Will my kids adjust? Where will we live? What school will they go to? etc. etc.

We were in the US for a whole year (July 2007 - July 2008) and while it was hard to uproot the family and pack up our house in Kenya, we ended up having a fabulous year in Michigan. I loved plugging in to our church - Ladies Bible Study, Couples' small group, Jeff working at the church and being mentored there, and of course the great teaching and worship each Sunday. And we loved being close to family - having grandparents close by for family dinners and to babysit and allow us a date, being there for holidays (instead of sending the lame email), etc. We LOVED our year in the US.

Then we had to pack up again. We knew God was calling us back to serve at R.V.A. yet it was still hard to say good-bye. Honestly, the first year back (maybe even two) were especially hard for  me. It wasn't that I didn't love our ministry but I really missed our family. Our church. America. 

We have not been back in 4 years. Slowly I have adjusted back to life in Kenya. I realize how much I really do love working and living here. There are still days where I miss America, but I truly feel settled and at peace. 

And now we are packing our suitcases again. (Okay, in 6 months we will be....) We have to pack up our entire house for someone else to live in next year while we are gone. We don't know if we will get to come back to the same house or have to move to a different house on campus. Our kids will say good-bye to their friends and teachers. We will say good-bye to our Bible Study group and friends and family on this side of the ocean. We will not only say farewell to the seniors who are graduating this July, but also to the juniors who will be gone by the time we return next year. 

It's not that I am dreading going to America. Like I said, we loved our year home. But that was four years ago. Time has marched on. Our friends have lived 4 years of life without us being a part of it. We have lived 4 years of life here that they were not a part of. How do we pick up where we left off? How do we truly engage for one year, knowing we have to do it all over again?

Sometimes when we think of the sacrifice missionaries make, we imagine it is giving up McDonald's, Target or a dishwasher. Or it is saying good-bye to family. But I am realizing it is living in a constant state of transition. Wanting to dig in your roots, but being afraid to at the same time.

I'm not here to complain, but I'm simply trying to process this crazy life we lead and trying to make sense of it all. I think two things I have learned from all this transition is to try to be content in the moment and to savor the here and now. To not wish this time away and long for a time past or a time in the future. To enjoy this moment. And I have also learned that Kenya is not my home. America is not my home. Heaven is my home and I long for the day when I can stop unpacking suitcases and truly settle down for eternity!