We are finding this to be true as we transition back and forth....and back and forth....and back and forth. The grass always seems greener on the other side. And once you move to the other side, the green-ness fades and once again.....the OTHER side looks greener again!
After waiting for four years to come back to America, I became convinced that the US of A was the the answer to all my problems. Over time, I had built it up to near perfection. Go back and read the first few posts of our life back here - I was writing euphoric entries, singing the praises of manicured lawns and pizza delivery. At that point, all I could see were the pros of America and the cons of Kenya.
Fast forward 5 months and the negative things that used to frustrate me about Kenya have faded a bit. The traffic jams in Nairobi, the never-ending pace of life during the school term, the fact that everyone knows everything about everyone in our close-knit community.... All of a sudden all I can remember are the crisp morning runs on the edge of the Rift Valley, having students into our home and eating and laughing together, our sweet Kenyan friends and their smiles.....Amazing how a few months can change one's perspective!
And fast forward 5 months in America? The McDonald's burgers that used to taste so yummy? Now all I can think about are the calories. The endless days of summer are now replaced by the short, cold and dark days of winter. The newness has worn off and the realization has hit: If I am not happy right now, right here, I will never be happy.
Isn't that what it boils down to? Contentment in the here and now. In the midst of a messy kitchen. In the midst of a blustery winter day. In the midst of the mundane. If I am not happy now, I never will be. Where does my joy come from - outward circumstances or true inner joy that only the Lord can give?
I am trying to embrace each day for the gift it holds. Enjoying my American days here and someday I will enjoy those Kenyan days again - and fully embrace them - the good AND the bad.
I can completely and totally relate to your post! I felt very similarly when we were living in Florida. I was longing to be back home, in Colorado. Fast forward 6 months and I'm struggling with parenthood, apathy, mundane living and lack of joy. Seeking ways to find true JOY again. We all walk the same steps, just different paths right?
ReplyDeleteone of my favorite blogs is simple mom and she has a post with this quote:
ReplyDelete"the grass is greener where you water it."
i love that quote!! here's the link:
http://simplemom.net/seldom-have-truer-words-been-said/